Let’s talk about combating anxiety, loneliness, and irritability by listening to your wise mind.
Many of us are feeling uncertain about the future, or even the present. Our routines are out of whack. We may be isolating ourselves and feeling deep loneliness. Or, we may be spending much more time with our loved ones and feeling the urge to lash out.
All of the feelings you are having are valid. Remind yourself of that. Some of the things our feelings urge us to do are wise and effective, and some are not. For example, you may have the urge to take a nap when you are feeling lonely and anxious, and in one instance, you may benefit from giving yourself a break. In another, you may wake up feeling more tired and stressed than before. You can recognize the difference between a constructive action and a destructive action by listening to your wise mind.
In DBT, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, you will learn to notice whether you are in a wise state of mind or not. You will learn how to get into a wise state of mind, and follow your wise mind. If you’re not, you can learn skills to resist taking action, and the wise or unwise impulse will pass.
For example, you might feel the urge to yell at a loved one. On the one hand, they made a mistake and you feel you need to correct it. But on the other hand, you may damage the relationship. Before you decide to act, you can note the feelings in your body, and notice that you feel tense, and your teeth are clenched. You might feel a warmer body temperature than you normally do. Without judging, you can acknowledge that you are in a state of heightened emotion and not in your wise mind. You can tolerate the urge to do these things that might make the situation worse. The impulse to yell at your loved one can pass, and you can choose to resolve the issue once you are in your wise mind.
By focusing only on the feelings in your body, you can learn to recognize your wise mind. You can find yourself more effective in your personal relationships. You will find yourself feeling better, also. When you act only on the decisions of your wise mind, you naturally become more confident in the decisions you make.
Recording by Dr. Kirsten Moore, Psy.D.
